by bailey ewers-smith

In 2023, marking the end of a 15-year gap, Nashville punk outfit Be Your Own Pet finally put out their third album. The boldly-titled Mommy, released via Third Man Records (the label of The White Stripes' Jack White), quickly became their most critically acclaimed. They without a doubt hadn't missed a step – incredible, blunt lyricism (“I can't be that way anymore / I've got two kids and a mortgage,”), combined with Jemina Pearl's riot grrrl infused vocals and infectious punk swagger is all very much intact. But now, growing so much from the kids they used to be, it's coupled with maturity. Aptly phrased by Pearl herself: “Before, I just felt angry, but I didn't understand why. Now I know why I'm angry.”

The cult punk band that found a cult-following status in the mid-to late-2000s were back. But why did it take so long to get album number three?

Be Your Own Pet members Jonas Stein, Jemina Pearl, John Eatherly and Nathan Vasquez

Pop culture during the 2000s saw the rise of subcultures like indie sleaze. Being stylishly unstylish, having messy, greasy hair, wearing graphic tees that looked like they had seen better days, mismatched with flashy accessories and an enormous fur coat. Stuff you wouldn’t expect to look cool, but somehow, they did. Many celebs of the day (e.g Kate Moss, dubbed the 'queen of indie sleaze') embraced 'sleaze' looks, and made it look good.

These outfits were also fitting representations of their wearer's attitudes on nights out. People cared little about how they were viewed by others, unbothered by risks and consequences (an approach that would actually boost their reputation within the scene). There was very much an air of embracing the sleaze. MySpace and Facebook pages would proudly feature concertgoers on a worn-out leather sofa doing bong rips with a band’s drummer. This was way before your nan knew how to use Facebook, meaning there were no awkward comments from concerned family members.

Musically, however, the era was one of utmost quality. So many hits were birthed during this time: “Can't Stand Me Now” by The Libertines; “Shut Up and Let Me Go” by The Ting Tings; singles by a small MySpace band called Arctic Monkeys, were all hitting the airwaves at the time. The UK indie sleaze scene was following on from bands such as The Strokes in the New York scene. Looking further afield, acts like CSS and Ida Maria from typically overlooked areas (Brazil and Norway respectively) were also making their mark.

The sleaziness came with a darker side. For some, this is what comes to mind upon hearing the phrase 'indie sleaze', coupled with a desire to never return to it. That includes those who would even admit to having their favourite memories made during that time. The celebrity gossip rags filled with harsh judgements on the debaucherous culture; reality TV shows on MTV with a complete lack of filter; creepy obsessions with the way people looked. Objectification was rife. One could say that this decade was the last ‘party’ before today’s so-called ‘woke’ culture.

And unfortunately, as seems to be the natural order of things, when there’s a dark side of subculture, it’s women who end up taking the brunt of the blow.

Within their first two years of existence, Be Your Own Pet gained quite an unprecedented list of accolades. A 2005 Glastonbury set, being an opening act at a Le Tigre show, playing the 2004 CMJ Music Marathon, the 2005 SXSW festival, their debut single getting airplay on Zane Lowe's BBC Radio 1 evening show. All these preceded the release of their debut album in 2006, released via XL Recordings in the UK and Ecstatic Peace in the US.

When Be Your Own Pet’s second album Get Awkward was released, Jemima Pearl was only 20 years old. For their self-titled debut, she was still in her first year of adulthood at 18 years old. She was also around that age, as were the other 3 members (Jonas Stein, Nathan Vasquez, and John Eatherly), when they played that set at Glastonbury — a trip that was a little more than a car ride away for the Nashville natives.

Despite all the success, it was easy to forget that they were jumping into a music world that was in no way safe for a group of teenagers. They, and particularly Pearl, were thrown to the wolves of 2000s music journalism.

In one of their first interviews after returning to the public eye, The Guardian's Laura Snapes breaks down the band’s relationship with the media. In the conversation, Pearl recounts how a big emphasis was put on her image being ”very sexualised”: “that wasn’t where my motivation was coming from,” she clarifies. She remembers how one 2006 review described her as the “slutty Jemina Pearl.”

Another, older article about the band (also from The Guardian) surprisingly acknowledges this sexism from the press (a rare thing for a journalist to do at the time). Observations made by the article’s writer, Dorian Lynskey, made him feel that the Tennessee group's media coverage did “not reflect well on the trade of music journalism,” even going on to comment that reviews concerning Pearl's looks and corresponding age were making references to things that are too perverse to mention.

Being the frontwoman of a punk band, shyness wasn't really a trait Pearl carried -– onstage and off. The singer's confidence and no filter attitude was a major aspect of Be Your Own Pet’s brand. She was frank about certain songs being refused by her record label, and just as frank about her feminist beliefs, pointing out the presence of degenerate men at the band’s shows. But behind the scenes, her mental armour was crumbling. All the shit from the media she was dealing with, plus the band’s whirlwind success was causing an immense amount of stress. Constant sexual harassment at shows, riddled with the sleaze of its namesake subculture, was draining. You would hear the stereotypical, beer-fueled chants that every female rocker was hit with, demanding to see more skin and sexuality. Incidents of groping were common -– something else often associated with indie sleaze culture.

When answering questions for a Reddit AMA, Stein, Vasquez and Pearl gave responses to what their worst fan story was. This is where Pearl recalled the story of a guy at one of their New York gigs who interrupted her onstage to kiss her on the lips without her consent.

At each and every show, female performers in the indie sleaze scene would throw themselves into a grimy pit of misogyny, hoping to come out with as few wounds as possible. Then, to top it off, some middle-aged gig reviewer would make a comment about their dress sense. The unsavoury icing on a sexism-filled cake.

Upon seeing her parents' archive of old Be Your Own Pet press clippings, Pearl explained to Snapes how she actually noticed a significant shift in her appearance over time towards a more androgynous look. “I wore less makeup and I chopped all my hair off because I was just so tired of having that male gaze on me.” In the music video for 'Becky’, a song from second album Get Awkward, you can see this more gender non-conforming look. Compare that with her appearance during their ‘05 shows and the difference is clear. Even though she was a female punk icon, she was tearing away her own femininity to try and avoid the leering eyes of cretinous men.

The hit song “Becky” and two others from the Get Awkward era were the subjects of the previously touched upon censorship controversy, instigated by their label. Universal Records -– who signed the band on a multi-faceted deal with Ecstatic Peace -– banned the release of three Be Your Own Pet songs in the States, on the grounds of them being “too violent.”

This royally pissed the group off. The band argued that explicitly violent songs from rap labelmates were given the thumbs up (though admittedly Eminem and other artists weren’t completely free of any censorship issues). Stein, around the time of the debacle, didn't hold back his feelings when talking to Billboard: “we kinda feel like we got screwed. Every band’s fear of signing with a major label is not getting to release something you recorded because of somebody’s so-called ‘ethical standards.’”

Then came the breaking point.

Nylon Magazine had invited Be Your Own Pet onto a two-month US tour, along with three other acts. Travelling across multiple states for their shows, Pearl and the guys were on a 22-person tour bus, being filmed constantly. For the guys, this is what pushed them to quit the band. Pearl wasn’t comfortable with continuing to use the band’s name with a different lineup, so the only 4 years old band officially disbanded. On August 1st, 2008, Be Your Own Pet posted on MySpace that the band was coming to an end. A UK farewell tour took place, ending at Camden's Dingwalls, and the curtain fell on the band’s rapid success.

Fans were shocked to hear this announcement. It had come out so left of field.

The Nashville group's hard shove into the world of sleazy rock and roll at such a young age, combined with self-medicated substance abuse, indicated that they had obviously made the best decision for their mental health. However, a band at Be Your Own Pet’s level of success not even making it to half a decade together, breaking up not because of personal conflict or an untimely death, was far from the norm. It goes to show the dangerous combined power of the music scene's misogynistic culture at the time -- it was not only hurting many famous female-fronted bands who did their best to power through it (e.g. Paramore), but it was so overwhelming that it killed off a band that had barely dipped their toes into the industry

Well, almost.

In 2022, Jack White announced the supporting acts for his Supply Chain Issues Tour. On that line-up, Be Your Own Pet’s name stood proudly amongst that list. Opening for the Atlanta and Nashville dates, fans were getting the reunion many thought would never happen, 14 years on from that supposedly final Camden show.

A Reddit fan’s reaction reflected just how unexpected this return was: “In an age where everything is getting a reboot or revival, this was the last name I ever expected to see.”

Then, the following year, we got Mommy! For their third album, Pearl was back to proudly embracing her femininity. This time around, we see her taking ownership of her sexuality, in the bold, direct way that suits the band’s vibe so well, shown in the album's title and powerful opening track “Worship The Whip.” The album would be released by an independent label, owned by the man who orchestrated the Be Your Own Pet revival -– Jack White.

With the release of their single What a B*tch last September, the four-piece shows no sign of being killed off any time soon.

How Music Industry Sexism Almost Killed Be Your Own Pet

by bailey ewers-smith

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